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BDSM binds two people, even if they are very different from each other. My first man felt guilty because of my age. At the same time I was scared that he sees my sexual response to pain – scared and excited at the same time. He could not stop doing what he was doing then, because I could not handle myself, on the other hand all the time he said it is appalling that I am a child. At the end, I said that there’s nothing I can do about it and hopefully he would manage to cope with my specific kind of sex. He did not understand the essence of the situation: “what you can not handle?” He pulled out of my knee dozens of splinters .
BDSM was not his thing.
He was good with women. At one point he raised his head and grabbed my face, and I didn’t control myself any more – what was happening to me was, at that moment, stronger than fear or shame. I suppose that the coexistence of conflicting emotions excites me further. Excited me inevitability – that he already knows, and it does not cease to happen, that I can only accept what next moment brings. There was a tension between us over the past few days – when we first met, he openly showed interest in me and I reacted nervously. When he found out how old I am, he became snippy and unpleasant to me – and then we fond ourselves in a situation, where there was no one else to help me with my needs. Well, when I accepted it , he somehow granted this acceptance. He has never done any BDSM session – but somehow he could give me this kind of pleasure .

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